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Thoughts on Pentecost

May 15, 2013

amyyearyholmes Uncategorized Leave a comment

Attending a Christian College is a great place to learn irreverence.  On orientation day my newly made friend joked that he could teach me to speak in tongues.  I was intrigued.  My Sunday School teacher had assured me that this was a gift of the Spirit, reserved for the MOST holy.  So I took the bait.  ”How?”, I inquired.  He told me to say “tie my bow tie, untie my bow tie” as fast as I could.  We all laughed.  Later, in the privacy of my dorm room, I tried.  What a silly exercise!  (You are doing right now, aren’t you?)

Speaking in tongues is always a topic that rises up during Pentecost.  Whether the preacher addresses it directly from the pulpit or not, the occurrence  is in the back of everyone’s mind. This can be frustrating because the tongue portion of the text is just the vessel for the bigger and more important picture.  The main point of the miracle is that the curse of Babel (Genesis lectionary text) is reversed and now all ethnic groups understand “in their own language” the “deeds of God’s power”.  Could this happen today?  I argue so.  The foundation of my argument lies in widening one’s assumption of language.  In this article below I speak of how language healed me (and continues to do so) in the office of a Christian counselor.   Perhaps Pentecost could be a time of widening our understanding of the miracle of language (Babel and Pentecost) and, in doing so, remind congregants of resources that could bring healing through language.

When Tongues Can Express What the Heart Feels

Just the other day I watched a one sided interaction between an autistic boy and a soda machine.  Outside a Food City, fists wailed and tears cried could be heard from the farthest depths of the parking lot.   At first it appeared the soda machine had taken his money.  Onlookers wanted to help, but the nature of the dual gave us all pause.  Fortunately, a good mother always knows the cry of distress in her child.  From inside the store she emerged, speaking with such gentleness and calm that her language soothed my soul, an observer from far off.   The words she used I did not clearly understand but that did not matter.  The boy’s confusion had lifted.  Language had brought clarity.

The interaction reminded me of a time in my life when darkness hovered over my soul.  It manifested in chronic, mild anxiety attacks, periods of listlessness and sleepless nights.  Sitting in a counselor’s office I learned to put words to my experience:  anxiety, shame, grief.  I had heard these words but never had I given them serious thought.  They helped me assign meaning to my experience.  Only when I named my fears could I understand and recognize God’s healing touch.  As language empowered, healing began and hope returned.

Last week the Christian calendar celebrated Pentecost.  This season highlights the coming of God’s Holy Spirit to reside in the hearts of humans.  What the Old Testament foretold as the longing of God becomes reality at this point in history and is promised to continue till the end of time.  The chosen scripture passages are the same every year and bookend around the theme of language.  The first narrative is the story of the tower of Babel from Genesis.  Plainly put the people of the world attempt to build a tower to God.  This sound harmless enough until the writer reveals their purpose.  They want to subdue to God.  In return God confuses the languages thus explaining the origin of different ethnic groups.  The second scripture passage read on Pentecost chronicles a miracle of language.  As if reversing the Babel curse, God sends God’s Holy Spirit to descend upon the followers of Jesus.  They begin to speak and every nationality can understand the words they speak about “the deeds of God’s power”.   Pentecost is about language; how language can confuse and how language can bring clarity.

Some say that the miracle of Pentecost was a one-time thing or that God does not work among us in that fashion anymore.  Long lost is the gift of speaking in tongues.  I tend to disagree.  There is healing power in language.  It is faulty thinking to narrow the Pentecost experience to New Testament times or barricade it within the walls of the church.  God brings healing and peace when language expands what our hearts can express.

Bravery Redefined

February 25, 2013

amyyearyholmes Christian living, Uncategorized , , , Leave a comment

Bravery: just showing up

The Biblical idea of bravery usually conjures up visions of exalted heroes after a solemn victory.  The battle of David and Goliath from 1 Samuel 17 is a perfect example.  Artists throughout the years have created paintings and sculptures of a very small David displaying a very large Goliath head, freshly removed of coarse. But these brief episodes of grandeur are just occasional outcomes of bravery.  The story behind those defining moments begin with a simple act of every day bravery:  just showing up.

I highly doubt that David rose that morning thinking it would be a good day to kill a giant.  Rather, he just shows up.  His father, Jesse, asked that he take supplies to the older sons involved in a battle with the Philistines.  The obedient David complies and discovers the Philistine giant, Goliath, taunting the Israelite army with his words.  No one would engage Goliath in his challenge:  a single showdown of Israel’s greatest warrior verse Goliath to determine the outcome of the battle.  Israel had no one to send.

When David shows up to camp, hears the challenge and speaks to the Israelite King, Saul.  David is the only person stepping forward to fight – the only person willing to show up on the field of battle.  He does not do this with out thought.  David shares with Saul that he has killed many a large beast in protection of his sheep (David is a shepherd boy).  And David enters the battle exalting his faith in God’s presence. The outcome of this match up is a dead giant, but that definition of bravery is misleading because it assumes the result of bravery is total victory and dissolution of the enemy.

 Everyday, accessible bravery is just showing up and knowing what you know.  What we know is that we may fail.  What we know is that we may get hurt.  What we know is that we are vulnerable.  I would imagine that David, being human, was aware of all these things too. But just showing up is essential because if we waited until we were bulletproof to take on any conflict or challenge in our lives, we would never show.

Sometimes the goal is not a dead giant, rather the goal is just to be brave.

Bravery is just showing up and knowing what you know.  As Christians we have faith that God goes before us, with us and behind us.  With that knowledge, sometimes we slay giants but most of the time we just show up.

Be Brave my friends, The Pondering Prophet

Where the Wild Things Are Liturgy

January 28, 2013

amyyearyholmes Uncategorized 1 Comment

Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are

Thanks to ministrymatters.com of the United Methodist Church for featuring my sermon and liturgy.  This Communion service, including liturgy and homily, is inspired by Maurice Sendak’s children’s classic, Where The Wild Things Are. Worship participants are encouraged to embrace the Wild Things of life, like fear, doubt, and impatience, reflecting on the happenings in the Upper Room during the turbulent uncertainty that followed Jesus’ death.  

The link is below or visit ministrymatters.com and click the worship link.  You’ll see it.

Pastors and worship leaders – use it as you like but I kindly ask that you give credit where credit is due.

http://www.ministrymatters.com/worship/article/entry/3594/wild-things-communion-service

Dancing to the Song of Worthiness

January 24, 2013

amyyearyholmes Spirituality , , , 2 Comments

Steve Harvey, Family Feud Host

The game show “Family Feud” has been on and off the air since 1976.  The popular show has had a handful of hosts.  The current reigning host is Steve Harvey.  Steve is an upbeat, African-American man with a wide smile and a swaggered step.  He introduces every show the same way:  “As usual, we got another good one for ya.  I’m your man Steve Harvey and this is Family Feud.”  Steve says it with such vigor I really believe him (even though I know not all the shows are equally good). Week in and week out, Steve bravely steps in front of the camera and freely gives his gift of entertainment to his audience.  But for me (and for others) sometimes it’s just a struggle just to show up.  I worry my gifts (and all that I am) will be rejected.  Instead of dashing into a church meeting, a family reunion or even the grocery store with the attitude of “another good one” I want to shrink away, become invisible or become someone that I image is stronger, more likable, or smarter.  I fear that I am not enough.  I assume rejection by others, myself and God to be the result.  And I wonder if Jesus ever encountered this feeling – not enough.

Early in Jesus’ ministry he returns home to Nazareth and goes to church (well technically, synagogue).  I would imagine the place was packed out.  Jesus had been working miracles in Capernaum and surely word of his great feats had spread to Nazareth. The hometown hero had returned and the honor had been bestowed upon him to read the scroll.   The scripture reading communicated the ancient promise of a savior.  Jesus rolls up the scroll after he reads and proclaims that he is the savior Isaiah speaks of in the scripture. This did not go over well.  Jesus showed up with all of who he God created him to be and he was rejected (Luke 4:16-30).

Vulnerability means not hiding behind any mask or armor; rather you allow the good and the bad of yourself to just “be”.  Without a mask or armor to hide behind, rejection is possible (but so is great, deep connection!).  So how did Jesus do it?  How did he become vulnerable and live through the rejection of his hometown?

Before the synagogue event, Jesus has one notable occurrence that would apply to my argument .  The scriptures record that Jesus was baptized by his cousin John.  While Jesus was being lifted out of the water a voice from heaven speaks saying, “This is my son in whom I am well pleased.”  And that statement is the reason Jesus did not allow the hometown rejection to scar his soul.  It did not matter what others thought.  The one to which it mattered the most had already given Jesus the blessing.  The gospel records that Jesus moves on to bigger and better things.

The critic does not count, my friends.  It is the blessing we receive from above, from ourselves and from those who love us most.  That blessing sings to our souls the sweet melody of worthiness.  We are worthy to give and receive love – from God, ourselves and others.  The life, death and resurrection of Christ illustrate that point!  There will always be critics.  But the critic’s words hold no significance.  We only dance to the song of the blessing.

UMC needs Innovation and Innovation needs Vulnerability

January 7, 2013

amyyearyholmes Modern Methodism , , , , , , , 4 Comments

The Pondering Prophet mascot is old (pictured above).  Not getting old, not slowing down…old.  This story illustrates my point.  I walked through his bedroom door (the interior garage door) to find him on all fours.  He looked like a new born calf.  When the exterior garage door rose for the morning release of the beast, he transformed from a newborn calf into a drunken sailor, walking sideways into the bumper of my car.  I was mortified.  I accompanied him throughout the yard so that his morning business was complete.  While I held him up in our back yard, I cried.  He’s old and every possibility ran through my mind…none of them good.  Anyway, I cried.  Not shed a tear, I was not just “upset”, I cried a river…loudly.   I live in a suburb with other homes as close as 15 yards from mine.  At any moment I could be heard sobbing by a neighbor leaving for work.   But I cried anyway; mostly because I needed the release but also because I felt safe.  All of my neighbors but one had dogs, most of them loved dogs and all of my neighbors loved (or had grown to love) old Moe.  I felt safe to cry.  More directly, I felt safe to be vulnerable, weak and unsure. My neighbors and I shared more than a property line; we shared a common passion and appreciation for the canine creature.  They would understand.  Heck, they may cry with me.  Reflection on that moment of vulnerability brought to my mind a blog post from Rev. Dr. Wes Magruder.  It was picked up by The United Methodist Insight.

Dr. Margruder’s sentiment

In his blog Dr. Magruder expressed his great doubt that the UMC can innovate.  He points out that the current United Methodist system is a “permission giving structure”; meaning blessings from certain people must at attained before new adventures are even considered.  And the UMC wants a sure bet.  The trouble is that the definition of a sure bet means numbers:  money counted and pews filled.  The UMC hasn’t been winning many sure bets these days.

Dr. Magruder makes a great argument.  And I too share the vision of a postmodern church that is not inhibited by the UMC rig-a-ma-roar.  But is there any redemption for our current set up?  Can we be United Methodist without the rig-a-ma-roar?  My suggestion beings with an exploration of a feeling called vulnerability, which is the key to successful innovation.

Dr. Brene Brown

Dr. Brene Brown is a PhD social worker that has written extensively on shame and vulnerability.  In her latest work, Daring Greatly, she speaks about the relationship between vulnerability and innovation.  Vulnerability is defined as the freedom to fail so that risk is welcomed, the anxiety risk brings is tolerated and if failure occurs the missteps become learning opportunities for other ventures (my original definition/run-on sentence!).  Dr. Brown’s amazing discovery on vulnerability within a system (that encourages innovation):  the vulnerability must be owned and exercised by the LEADERSHIP.  And that begins with an internal journey.  Dr. Brown speaks about a sense of worthiness that comes from within, not attached to the efforts, ideas or projects that someone may pour themselves into.  When a person knows they are worthy of love and are capable of loving, just knowing that they are enough fuels the sense of risk.  Risk becomes tolerable because those who venture toward innovation know that if failure becomes reality, if criticism is all they hear, they are still enough – they are still lovable, worthy, respected.  They are enough.  In this way vulnerability gives the courage to dare.

Dr. Brown broke it down quite plainly in her book Daring Greatly.

This idea is the opposite of a sure bet.  It means that leadership humble itself by telling tales of lessons learned rather than bragging about an increase in number from some past glory.  Or worst yet, bad mouthing the pastor that was before them or followed them because those numbers declined.  It also means that leadership speaks openly about risk, what it takes to tolerate the emotions that come with risk, and praise for those who risk and even fail.  Every new venture is presented to clergy and congregation as a risk, the opposite of a sure bet. Finally, bishops who practice the spiritual discipline of vulnerability choose districts superintendents who also practice vulnerability and would encourage pastors and laypeople to do the same.   This does not mean we do not think through new ideas, rather we make them welcome and we do not demand immediate success.

This attention to our inner journey and the freeing idea of vulnerable leadership creates a forum that allows for creativity, fresh ideas and innovation.  New ways of being the church that would capture the hearts of post moderns would be floated, modified and funded with hopes of eventual growth and economic sustainability.  Along the way the map may have to be modified, adjustments made and we will learn what NOT to do.  All of this courtesy of a spiritual discipline called vulnerability.

My vulnerability in the backyard yielded no human comfort.  Simply put, no neighbor heard or responded to my cry.  But the tears represented a release my sadness and fear.  Welcoming that moment of vulnerability enabled me to make that dreaded veterinarian appointment.  The outcome was positive.  Our pondering prophet mascot had an inner ear infection.  He is currently on antibiotics and steroids.  All is well.

May you welcome vulnerability today.

Dodging the Santa Bullet: Parenting during Christmas

December 27, 2012

amyyearyholmes Christian living, Uncategorized , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Six years old is the age when hard questions begin.  I know because I’ve been fielding them for six weeks and they all revolve around Santa.  How to be truthful with our child and yet encourage her imagination?  To use Christian-ese speak, how do I “speak the truth in love” to my ever so curious six year old?

Linda Poland

Linda Poland, Jonesborough’s resident storyteller, tells a story about her grandmother that gave my parenting skills some much needed direction.  Linda was a very distraught six year old one Christmas season.  She had just defended Santa’s existence to her older brothers when she complained to her grandmother about the argument.  Grandmother did not take sides.  She responded by taking Linda on an unexpected field trip.

Dr. Tate’s pharmacy and department store was the local shop in town that had everything.  Linda had visited that store hundreds of times with her family.  She knew it well.  But this time was different.  Grandmother had left her alone in the store with a ten dollar bill.  Her assignment was to think of someone who was in real need of something, find it and buy it for them.  Grandmother patiently waited in the car.  After recovering from the realization that she was alone in a store for the first time, little Linda became entranced by the search for someone with a true need.  After a while, she recalled how a little boy in her class never went outside to play.  His mother sent a note explaining that he had a cough and needed to stay indoors.  Little Billy never had a cough.  And little Linda was on the search for a coat.  She found a red, size 7, coat with fur lining on the hood.  Perfect!  With this shopping find over her arm and a ten dollar bill clenched in her fist, Linda approached the cash register.  Mrs. Tate, who manned the register, took one look at the price tag and asked Linda if she was buying this for someone.  Linda spilled the story of Billy in great detail as Mrs. Tate put the ten dollar bill in the register and the coat in a bag.

Back home, as Linda’s grandmother wrapped the coat in shiny paper, she told Linda about the joy of being Santa’s helper.  It was job the required the greatest level of secrecy.  For it was through that secrecy that Santa truly existed at his best.  After the gift was prepared with Billy’s name, both grandmother and Linda bundled up and once again embarked on a field trip.  Two houses down from Billy’s, Grandmother parked the car.  She and Linda sneaked through the bushed like spies on a mission.  Grandmother sent Linda to the door to deliver the present, and then resent her to knock on the door.  Hunkered down behind the bushes and out of sight, Linda learned what it meant to be Santa’s helper.  Billy answered the door, ripped open the package and hugged his new red coat.  Linda had made the journey from a literal Santa to the joy of being Santa’s helpers.  She had grasped the potential of her little hands and her big heart and experienced the joy of generosity.

Years later, Linda had inherited her grandmother’s Bible.  Tucked away, tight to the spine of the Bible was a Dr. Tate’s pharmacy and department store price tag for one red coat, size 7.  The price was twenty dollars.  Linda reasoned that Mrs. Tate must have been one of Santa’s helpers too.

Sometimes “speaking the truth in love” means unexpected field trips, ten dollar bills and letting a six year old explore the spirit of generosity.    After all, love is a verb.

The aftermath……

My daughter listens to me in detail.  I know because if something doesn’t work out exactly as I have predicted, she’s on it.  She also dresses like me.  Just a couple of months ago, she begged for a pair of “athletic pants”.  She choose a pair that had a vertical stripe on the side and insisted that I wear my vertical stripe pair the very next day as she sported hers.  Just last week, she had a smile of satisfaction when our hairdresser asked if she wanted layers in her hair just like her mom.   I know that won’t last long.  She is six.  But I plan to cash it in while I can.

But also what is working against me in the great Santa debate is she’s six.  She is a literal thinker and is only beginning to understand that immediate gratification is not how the world works.  So how do we handle “Santa”?

What I (and my husband) have decided is that this picture is not the best route.

Opps!

My goal is less immediate…..and less painful.  I hope to match words about Santa with acts of mercy to lay a path for my daughter to walk upon as she grows.  My aspiration is to make Santa part of the plan for the spiritual development of my daughter.  From the example of Linda’s unexpected field trip I ask myself:  what things do we DO in our household that teaches my daughter compassion and generosity?  Everything that “Santa” stands for – do we have that spirit behind what we do?

I chose that as a goal because faithful men and women who have studied the development of brain have taught me that my daughter’s brain will grow and change.  She will begin to think for herself (DARN!).  And as her analytical side develops the first place she will point her newly acquired cranial microscope will be ME and DADDY.  She will abandon the idea of a literal Santa.  Our hope is that she will not abandon the goodwill that the season encourages.  Our hope is that this goodwill and her participation in it will point her to the manger, not the disillusion of a sled.

But for now…..how do we address Santa?  She has inquired about his existence.  My first round of defense was to play the “clinically trained chaplain card” – What do you think?  She gives me a breakdown of 1st grade lunchroom debate.   The awkward and dreaded question still lingers in the air.   Then I point to the changes in decorations, the change in the news cycle (a focus on helping others), the change in our shopping habits (hunting gifts for loved ones and an angel tree kid), the change in our church worship cycle (celebrating the birth) and so on.  I refocus her those changes and she adds a couple to this list.  Santa helps us do that, I assure her.  After a moment of thought she asks, “But you and Daddy do the presents and stocking thing, right?”  (Oh, crap! as my palms get sweaty.)  I respond, “You can believe that if you like.  Or you can believe that Santa is magical and only once a year you get showered with gifts.  It’s OK to believe with your friends and get swept away in the Christmas movies.  I enjoy Santa too and I like to think about him this time of year.”

Sometimes all we need is permission to be child-like.

And that suffices…until next year.  She decides to “enjoy Santa too”….mostly because she is ready to move on to begging for a Sonic burger run or showing me a new dance move.  But I believe she is satisfied for the moment because she is six and she wants to be like Mommy.  So she decides to “enjoy Santa too” as she dances around the kitchen in her athletic pants.  Some may say that I  have dodged the Santa Bullet.  But actually I think I made Santa part of a bigger picture.

Happy New Year Pondering Prophets.

The Path of What Could Be: Curiosity

December 26, 2012

amyyearyholmes Spirituality , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Pete the cat Cats have been found in unusual places.  They have traveled across country in some crevice of an eighteen wheeler.  Felines have been heard disputing the drywall patch that covered their entry into a wall.  And homeowners have been known to return home from holiday merriment to find their cat in the middle of an expedition to the top of the Christmas tree.  An old adage tells us that these outlandish behaviors are driven by nothing less than curiosity.

But aside from the motley of cat clichés, in the realm of spirituality curiosity is not a negative thing.  Curiosity is the companion that keeps our hearts from being focused on absolutes.  It is a playful thing that sets our minds upon the path of what could be.  Like a child exploring new places, new people, new skills, we approach life with wonderful anticipation of what is around the corner.

Eric Litwin created a suave character of curiosity in his book Pete the Cat; I Love My White Shoes.  Pete’s adventure is a simple trudge through blue berries, strawberries, mud and water; all while wearing white shoes!  As the color and sogginess of his shoes change, Pete observes and ends each “misstep” with a song about “walkin’ along, sing’in my song”.  Pete creatively intersects each color opportunity with curiosity of what could be.  This approach to life stands in contrast to the expectations and confines of what should be. Pete

Curiosity is a very helpful attitude when we find difficulty in the words of Jesus.  Often poorly preached, Matthew 7:7-8 gives us confusing advice:  Ask and it shall be given unto you…for everyone who asks shall receive”.  Upon initial reading Jesus makes God sound like Santa.  Give Santa your list and he’ll go to work upon your behalf.  But the deeper meaning comes when we adopt curiosity as our guide.  Jesus invites us to ask, so a survey of needs and wants we take.  And we are also invited to present those needs and wants to God.  But curiosity invites us to sit with that list and be curious.  What does that list say about us?  What does the list say about what we think of God?  Curiosity invites observation, not judgment.  As we analyze, our list may change.  True desires of our hearts bubble to the top, fleeting wishes melt away.  In that evolution growth takes place.  And that is a gift to be received.

Matthew 7:7

 

 

Another gift comes when we wait upon God to respond to our list.  As things come about in life, good and bad, we begin to wonder if this is the path God will take to answer our prayer.  Other times, we observe our situation and ask ourselves what can be learned.  Curiosity welcomes questions and creativity about what could be.  This stands in contrast of the confines of what should be.  In the process, we learn more about ourselves and how God interacts with us.  Those who ask do receive.  The gift lies before us every day, if we are curious enough about what could be.

Here’s to all the curious prophets out there!

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